I was rearranging my office space today and found a “wishlist” for 2024 that I’d totally forgotten about. Not intentions, but hopes and dreams. It was a long list, including:

• get an awesome new agent
• sweep the publishing world off its feet with MONSTERS CAN’T LOVE
• make soooo much $$$$ through this project, so I can make a living as a creative
• reach full spiritual transcendence

Etc.

LOL.

Instead of ANY of the above, 2024 brought:

• A few setbacks
• Tears
• Burnout
• Rejections
• No finished drafts this time
• A brand new place to live, an apartment by the lake that I adore
• A nice raise at work
• Some savings
• A wonderful new therapist
• A glorious new/old hobby: I took up singing and songwriting again!!
• Delightful and soul-nurturing family dinners, get-togethers and celebrations

Honestly, I think it was a pretty good year.

I am frustrated with myself though. Like, I’m so hungry to learn and overcome any blocks holding me back; I’m so over my old patterns. I wanna know: could I have done more in 2024? Should I have done less??

I think in these moments of frustration, I need to remember that many of the gains in mindfulness and personal growth that I’ve made over this year — the last four years, really — my entire freaking life, really — can feel small. But they are real.

Speaking my mind here.

Noticing a pattern there.

Giving myself grace here.

Making a different choice there.

Treating my body better.

Showing up for my creativity 364 days out of the year. And that includes knowing when to step back and let a project of the heart cool off for a time. Hoping it isn’t forever.

It also includes knowing when to take a day off. Yes, I believe I took one day off from writing in 2024. No regrets and no loss. It was needed.

We’re halfway into the decade already. Wild. I’ve sown lots of creative seeds since 2020. Usually, once the seeds are sown, I find myself already looking forward to what will one day bloom.

Not this time.

This year I’d like to have some fun in the dark soil of pure creation.

My word for 2025 is GERMINATE.

Picture me kind of hunkering down.

While still believing in both my talent and in possibility, my main aim for this year is to radically detach from expectations of external outcomes.

In other words, we can also call this the year of the journey.

That I need to embrace the journey, gosh, I get it, I get it so hard. Still, when I say it, “I’m here to enjoy the journey, that’s the most important thing!” often it feels like lip service, like a thing you’re supposed to say.

This year, my aim is to own that idea actually and authentically. To revel in the journey UTTERLY UNCONDITIONALLY.

Oh, and I full expect to finish the first draft of my current project by the year’s end — much sooner than that. I like the years when I finish a manuscript. 🙂

Dear friends! Whatever you’re aiming, intending and wishing for yourself in 2025, may it be so.

Happy New Year!

Love,

Katia