Hi, friends.

I’ve been trying to think of what to write about here. It seems this blog is trying to grow up, trying to stretch itself into its next iteration, and here I am even now, throat-clearing. Sure, I can talk about the new personal discoveries, the constant growth, the joys of the journey, more of the skin I’ve been shedding, the worst bout of COVID I’ve ever had that I am recovering from as we speak, the break from writing that was so good for me, actually, the lucid dream where I met my Higher Self and we levitated together, the story I am on the verge of beginning… LolBut every time I sit down to blog, a certain… presence disturbs me. There is an elephant in the room, an elephant in the world taking up space in my mind and my heart, waving its great and terrible trunk at me, hellooooo.

I want this blog to be the full and total truth of me, and so I must wave back at the elephant now.

The elephant being the crisis in Gaza, of course. It’s such a huge part of me, it feels like a lie not to talk about.

There is argument about everything nowadays: argument about what to even call it. Is it war? Is it genocide? Apartheid?

How about, it doesn’t matter. How about, all of the above.

I think 30,000+ people dead is an astonishing number, if we step out for a moment to think about it. I think it’s clear who is the David and who is the Goliath here. And like a good experienced Jewish girl well-versed in being Othered, I will always, always root for the underdog.

Arguments flow back and forth, they always do. But what about the State of Israel? Doesn’t it have the right to exist?

Someone on an Instagram post somewhere put it perfectly — I am sorry I forgot who: every person has the right to exist everywhere. But do we want to put the rights of a state before the rights of people?

But what about anti-Semitism? What about Hamas?

As per Michael Jackson, I am starting with the “[wo]man in the mirror.” Any time history or religion demand the sacrifice of thousands, the answer has to be, no thanks, it can’t be worth it.

But I don’t live in Israel. I don’t know what it’s like out there.

Yet, I am a Jew, imperfectly perfect in my own unique, ever-evolving approach to Jewishness, and when violence is being done in my name, I must speak up against it.

I acknowledge: it is a mess out there right now. A mess of ideas and facts, real information and propaganda, words true with words twisted, history, paranoia, J-hatred, Arab hatred, ignorant centuries-old tropes and conspiracy theories, real atrocities, pain.

I have studied revolutions, seen how passionate movements can sweep innocents under, lived in a country that was testament to ideals gone wrong. At the same time, injustice can’t be allowed to stand because future is uncertain, solutions seem elusive, and change is scary. Something about this whole situation just feels wrong, doesn’t it, if we are honest, come on now — we feel it inside, I know we do, when we let go of our attachment to histories and identities and allow ourselves to get in touch with that deep place of love, the purest source of our togetherness, I know we feel it; it’s not that hard to know what’s right and what’s wrong, no matter who we are — Jews, non-Jews, Palestinians… Awareness is the first step, in some ways the easiest, or is it the hardest? But once we open our eyes to it — then we have to face it.

I support the protesters out there on campuses across the nation courageously disrupting the status quo. I agree with them, we must do better. American voters have the right to declare that they don’t want our nation to contribute to the arms that kill thousands; and they should be listened to.

Maybe you didn’t sign up for this — maybe you thought it was going to be writerly things here, and unicorns and flower-filled meadows (and it is that! That’s what my heart looks like! With a scare thrown in just for the hell of it). But …this blog is about transformation. It’s also about facing fears. And I think the moment calls on all of us to do that now, so we as the world can move forward, humanity stretching itself into its next iteration…

This is where my heart is at these days. Thank you for taking a look into it; it felt good to share my truth with you.

With so much love,

Katia